The other evening, as I was having dinner with my brothers at a local coffee shop, I ran into an old classmate of mine. She and I were in the same university when I was studying abroad for my final year of degree. What’s more was that she ended up living right next door when I was living on campus (Ah those days where the lecture hall was just a stone’s throw away!).
She was with her mum and brothers. Like me, she was also the big sister in the family. That was always something I thought we could bond over since similarities bring people closer. An understanding, perhaps. We caught up with each other briefly. I learned that she’s currently working as an in-house legal intern and she didn’t make it pass CLP last year. I told her I deferred and am now attending the regular classes.
The most surprising news was that it’s been a few months since her family moved to my neighbourhood. They used to live in Malacca but now they’ve moved to be closer to the capital, for work reasons I assume. It was a pleasant surprise because I’ve never had any friends living in close proximity. This was why I didn’t bother to socialise with my university classmates cos everyone else live nearer to the city centre and then, there’s little ol’ me in the outskirts.
We exchanged numbers on Facebook messenger later on and we talked about getting together and catching up, when we’re both free. As glad as I am to now have a friend living nearby, a concern started to niggle at the back of my mind.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who deals with *cue in ominous music* social anxiety. I got past my fear of making telephone calls to strangers when I interned in a law firm as receptionist was part of my job. But, socialising with people face to face is something I’m not confident or comfortable with. If it’s close friends, someone you’ve known and hung out for years, that’s fine but friends whom you’re not close with on a personal level? That’s intimidating.
It’s like, you want to make sure they are going to have a good time and you’re fun to be around with. You wanna make a good impression so that they won’t find you too shy or quiet. My worst nightmare when socialising with people is awkward silences, lulls in conversation. Gah! These worries overwhelm me at times because I’m not just an introvert but also, a homebody and a wallflower at social events.
When it comes to making friends; meeting new people, it boggles my mind as to why has this seemingly simple matter becomes much more complicated as we get older. Back when you’re a kid, it’s so easy to make friends! Maybe it’s that childlike innocence. Anyways, enough with my overthinking, I just hope she and I can get along and get to know each other better.