Leave and Disappear

I’m… in a funky mood. I’m pretty sure it’s because my period is about to make an appearance. Then there’s other things that’s on my mind lately. Watching ‘Grave of the Fireflies’ was a bad idea when I’m feeling blue, however I’ve got to say, that was really an unforgettable movie.

It’s been a week since I’ve started working. Finally, I got myself a job at a law firm which is relatively close to my home. The pay is peanuts -since it’s an internship- but the work is adequate -I’m no monkey- and the people are nice, so far. The pay does bother me a lot because I’m trying to save up, you know, trying to stand on my own two feet. With a menial pay like this, I can’t do shit. Sigh…

At home, it’s a wreck. There are good days and bad days but mostly bad days. Precisely the reason why I just like to stay out which is bad because it’s causing me to become overly-attached to my friends.

I’m starting to see a pattern among my friends and acquaintances. They’re either getting into relationships, engaged or married. The old me would’ve think ‘What’s the rush?’ but I’m realizing I’m not so young anymore. When my friend remarked how she cannot fathom what kind of guy I’ll end up with since I’ve never been in an actual relationship, that struck a chord with me. Does that mean it’s gonna take me a long time to find the right one?

Where I am right now is supposed to be the best part of a person’s life and yet, I haven’t accomplish anything significant. I feel like I’m exactly where I was years ago. Stagnated and idling.

Things like this makes me wanna just pack up and leave, disappear for a while and let me live in solitary dwelling.


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