With my second cuppa joe, Norah Jones playing in the background and the rain outside, I am loving this solitude moment on a Saturday noon. It’s been a long while since I’ve had the time to take it easy on the weekends, by myself. For the past few weeks, I’ve been out and about, whether it be running errands or hanging out with friends. Kinda makes me miss my hermit days where I just hole myself up in my room. Not to say I don’t like going out and be social, in fact I enjoy the hangouts. It’s just sometimes I wish there were more hours in a day where I could have the best of both worlds.
Things are going steady at my workplace. I love my job even though it’s mostly a desk job. I appreciate the fact that I’m able to have this work routine and a paycheck that comes at the end of every month. Despite the repetitiveness, I enjoy working in a conveyancing firm. The people in my office are nice, they took the time to guide me and I was able to learn. Sure, sometimes the days can be mundane. Still, this is better than being unemployed or getting myself into a job where I dread it when the boss enters the office or going to work every morning feeling anxious and stressed. This takes me to my next train of thought.
The longer I stay in this conveyancing firm, the more I feel comfortable and interested in this field. When I interact with people from the litigation field, I feel apprehensive because it takes a lot wit and energy to mingle with this circle of litigators. They constantly read your behaviour and mannerisms. You feel as though you’re under watchful eyes and it makes me tense. You’d have to very careful with your words and actions. The fear of embarrassing myself or appearing simple-minded gets a hold of me. I can’t handle this. Hence, the dilemma of whether I want to chamber in this conveyancing firm later on when I get through my bar exams or venture out into litigation firms. It takes a lot of courage for me to get out of my comfort zone.
I’m approaching crossroads here.